You Are Beautiful

     Remember My Pale Skin's inspirational video about the unrealistic standard of beauty? It is one of my all time favorite videos on YouTube, and it continues to move me every time I watch it. I watch it when I feel insecure, and am reminded of two great truths about beauty. The first is that there is a huge double standard when it comes to appearance; if you're deemed unattractive, it's like a fatal fault in your character, one that is your responsibility to fix for the benefit of others. If you're attractive, however, you're perceived as fake and conceited.

The second truth is that every woman, no matter how beautiful, thin, or popular, is subjected to this same harsh criticism. There really is no winning. There seems to be an entire world of people out there that want you to feel bad about yourself. These people want you to feel inferior and insecure. The nasty comments on your Instagram pictures are not coming from a place of truth, but rather from the hope of hurting you as much as possible simply because they can. As if your appearance has anything to do with your right to feel happiness.

But everyone deserves to feel happy and beautiful.

If I'm to be perfectly honest, I often feel insecure and defective. I see countless beautiful women on social media, and it's easy to imagine they must have absolutely perfect lives. I compare myself to them without even realizing I'm doing it. Of course, it's really easy to assume someone has it all together. We live in a society where everyone compares themselves to everyone else, and it does way more damage than good. I'm starting to realize though that everyone has things they would change about themselves.

Imagine waking up in a great mood, putting special effort into getting ready, and absolutely enjoying your morning. I'll bet those are the days you feel pretty. Now imagine those other days, when you wake up feeling ugly for no particular reason. Your appearance didn't suddenly drastically change, right? This means that perspective plays a big part in how we look at ourselves. In the same way, why is it so much easier to believe the one negative comment you get and ignore all the compliments from friends and family? I often say it takes 100 compliments to make up for one insult. But we can choose how much value we want to give that one insult.

If you're like me, at some point your self-esteem has been practically non-existent. The great thing about self-esteem, though, is that it can always be built up. It isn't magic, and not even this post will help you feel beautiful if you don't practice. Self-esteem has to be cultivated. It's a matter of learning to art of liking yourself without needing the approval of others.

The first step is giving up on perfectionism. I'm a huge perfectionist, but I will tell you right now, it does not help. Don't listen to the negative voice in your head. Stop comparing yourself to what you want to be, or what other people appear to be. You will never ever please everyone, and not everyone is going to appreciate your unique qualities, so you have to just give up on that. Instead of comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to your past self; appreciate how far you've come.

Be grateful for your positive qualities. Keep a journal, and come up with things you like about you.

Take care of yourself. Just aim to be healthy and happy. Take time for yourself, and do the things you're good at. It's hard not to feel amazing when you're learning new things and improving your skills.

Lastly, spend time with the people that make you feel good about yourself. I have not always been lucky enough to have supportive people in my life, but now I have an amazing boyfriend who compliments me immensely, and a few close friends who truly appreciate me. If you have those people in your life, spend your time with them, and if you don't, find them.

I believe I'm beautiful, and I believe you are, too.
In times of self-doubt, imagine this: You are a snowflake; completely unique and brilliant, but here for only a short time before you melt away. You are utterly beautiful as your drift gracefully down to earth. Negative opinions are irrelevant; nothing can make you any less beautiful than all the other snowflakes.